I’ll tell you another thing: sometimes you find wisdom in unexpected places. Of course, the kind of useless banter you pick up from a cab driver is often just useless, but I have had oddly similar conversations with cab drivers. They start out slow, then they tell you their whole life story about how many times they were divorced, which is usually several times. Then they tell you that they were successful at one time, such as my cab driver today, who mentioned that he had thirty people working for him selling chemicals, or another cabbie who told me he sold real estate until he finally sold a 500 acre parcel, which he said is as big as central park, for 2 million dollars. Now he drives for fun. Anyway, today’s driver told me a similar story, which involved ex-wives, his philosophy of work and life, plus some more mundane observations, such as the fact that guys with no money have to talk a lot to get women, rich guys don’t have to say much.

He also told me he has regular guys he drives to see their mistresses, which he referred to as their secretaries. But apparently there is a part of town common to keep such mistresses in condos, and these guys all go over at lunchtime to visit them.

My driver was more than just a world weary lothario though. He was also a painter, and apparently sells his paintings to the secretaries, because the men want to buy them things and for some unspecified reason, their wives wouldn’t like his paintings.

He also told me he developed cadmium poisoning, which I’ve never heard of, though I guess you can get poisoned from just about anything. Cadmium is an ingredient in oil paint pigment. But all the hospital did was tell him to take a lot of vitamin c. Which he, of course, pronounced wetemen c, since he had a French accent.

He also told me he takes off two months a year to paint every day, which I consider impressive, and that he mediates every day for an hour, does Tai Chi and has a 26 year old girlfriend. He explained his philosophy for how to get women: treat them like they are 15, and like to them about the things they like to hear about, like telling them they have beautiful eyes.

He was 52, but he said the secret to his staying in shape was cross country skiing, which he also does regularly. He also explained something to do with his holding his ejaculation, but I wasn’t really sure what he meant, if he was saying his girlfriend would actually squeeze his urethra or what. He said only two women he’s ever been with could properly “hold it back” which is the term he was using.

The whole episode reminded me a lot of a cab driver I had right before leaving the Y, who told me the secret to life. Only I can’t remember what it was. I just remember thinking that was pretty typical, a cabbie figured it out and now no one would listen to him or take him seriously.