You know that feeling you get, when you are walking home and you pass a sign that says "Bulldoze the zionists!" and then you cross the street and there is big flyer pinned up that says "Fire Zionist Democrats" and your honey walks down the street and some guy yells in her face to "stop the zionists"? Well, it's really not a nice feeling at all. It kind of puts me in a killing rage, to be honest. But I suppose I'll just have to pretend it doesn't and go on with life.

I had a thought, to bring in a window box to grow some vegetables at work, and somehow it made me think of something I had forgotten all about. Back about 9 years ago, I decided to put in a little roof garden. At the time, I had gone out to buy some soil, because it was in Manhattan where you can get anything you want at any hour, except soil, which you have to buy in a bag at the garden store. So I bought a bag, and it was like ten bucks a bag. And I figured that to get enough dirt to do what I wanted, I would have to buy like 100 dollars worth of dirt. So I went and got three Hefty bags, and went on my bike into Central Park, where I knew there was a big pile of dirt they were using to make flower beds, and I stole dirt. I filled up the bags and rode out, and if you think it is hard to ride a bike with three garbage bags full of dirt, you're right.

Anyway, I had this thought because I am in sort of the same situation with getting a window box for my office, because I don't know where a person could get soil around here without a shovel, and if they caught you doing that around here, they would probably kill you. Anyway, the point I was going to make is that this town is full of Jew haters. Also, I was going to make another point, which is that a woman who I work with, who, though it is completely irrelevant to note, I would add the fact that she was born with no thyroid, told me today that her friend just got killed in Iraq.

He was fighting with the British Navy as a helicoptor pilot. She is at the memorial for him as I write this, and they were pretty good friends. Odd, as this comes hot on the heels of a thing I just read where some guy had to take down his homemade "we support the troops" sign in his window in Berkley, because his landlord said he would throw him out of the building unless he did. This enrages me for two reasons. One, is that if you believe in the right to free expression, it is supposed to extend to people you disagree with, and the right to say what you want is pretty close to free speech. Even when I saw the bulldoze the zionist flyers, I didn't tear them down, partly out of free speech respect, partly because I hold out the hope that others will see it and realize that blaming zionism for this war is preposterous. But I'm probably being naive and should have torn them down, which aren't protected free speech anyway, as they are incendiary, and last I checked, free speech does not include calling for the crushing people with bulldozers, even if they belive in a Jewish homeland.

Two, supporting our troops is a pretty nebulous thing to say, not exactly pro war. It really could be read as patriotic pacifism, and since our volunteer army is largely made up of people who had few economic opportunities, if you think about it, they are relatively passive players in this war, politically speaking. Plus, it's not like they can quit their enlistment once they sign up, it's pretty much out of their hands. Not that they are victims exactly, but they are sort of pawns in a larger game. Anyway, I was feeling bad about this dead English guy, who, if you need more detail, just got engaged to his girlfriend and their save the date card for their wedding was on my friends fridge.

Kind of brings the war home in a way, and sort of fills me with rage. To make myself nuts, I listened to some Al-Jazerra reporter give his version of the war, which was peppered with terms like corporate lies, to describe American coverage. Not to say there isn't a bias, but there is a free press here, which is why he's allowed to speak in the first place, and at least corporate press serves many masters, where as totalitarian press serves only one guy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pro war and all this death better be in service of some progress. I'll be glad when this is over. But I've taken to carrying my hunting knife and mace with me, because I'm going to stab some sense into anyone whose idea of activism involves me.