Well, it has been a while, but what I lack in quantity of regular output I promise to make up with quality, at least this time. Because I have a special report. Not the fact that I just flew to New York, to do an all day recording session , then have an experience poolside at the Soho House that kind of made me glad I didn't live in New York, then go up to PEI, where I put in a deck out back, then to Montreal, for another recording session, then to Chicago then San Francisco. That was all over four days. Not that at all. Nor the lightening storm I went through that made me seriously think about the liklihood of my dying.

No, the news I have is a neighbor I just made the aquaintance of. First of all, he carries a whip, and was wearing a jacket with epaulets, and kind of looked like Sammy Hagar, the aging rock star replacement singer for Van Halen who now sells Cabo Wabo tequila. He had a crazy car with spoked wheels, and was moving in to a beautiful house that I had noticed, but only seen from the outside. And while his hair was blonde, his eyebrows were dyed black, and were twisted up like an evil ringmaster, which he kind of resembled. So after a few minutes spent on the sidewalk chatting to his wife, she invited me in to tour the house.

Let me just say I have never seen a house like this. Even watching Ozzy at home on his reality show, I never so anything even a little like this, not on TV, or in the movies. To begin with, it was owned for the past 21 years by famous actor gone crazy Nic Cage. He put in huge, elaborate stained glass windows, not just in the walls, but in the ceiling, with back lights. There was tin ceiling tiles, painted blood red. There was statuary, gilded, with armor helmets. There was a fireplace, which was such an elaborate profusion of gilt, nude male torsos with spears, marble, fleur de lys and Rococo touches that I could hardly look at it. And of course a massive chandalier. And a kitchen unlike anything you could conceive of, in a black marble spending spree.

Now, while it was all pretty striking and remarkable, the fact is that all of that was a living room you might find in any New Orleans Midnight of Garden of Good and Evil red velvet draped whore house. But then you go upstairs. Each room is themed, but before getting up there, the stairs have a bathroom on them, again a first for me, a staircase bathroom. Then the second floor has a safe room, with a huge steel door, with a peep hole. There is an incredible grotto room, with built in controls for stereo and lights, built not by Nic Cage but by Werner Erhart, the founder of EST, so all the control panels look like they are off the set of Dr. No, since everything is vintage 1970s. There was the $500,000 bathroom sink, in a bathroom that defies description, but had black laquer everywhere, a ceiling that was domed and at least 15 feet high, with twisted burlwood latticed across the dome, painted gloss black. Then there was room with everything white, but hugh amorphous chairs, like Dr. Seuss, upolstered in bright orange velvet. Then a room with a four poster bed, and gilded wall paper.

And on and on for 6,500 square feet of eight bedrooms, building to the master suite, with a fishtank that must hold at least 3,000 gallons of water and fish, that wrapped around two walls. And all through is stained glass windows and crazy furniture.

So I got invited to a party there Thursday. I can't wait.